Conversation
by mojo-nojo
Summary: A 'Missing Moment' set during 1x21 "Ragtag". Skye has a conversation with someone she once trusted. Now, she just wants answers, even though she knows she won't get them. Spoilers up to 1x21.


**SUMMARY:** A 'Missing Moment' set during 1x21 "Ragtag". Skye has a conversation with someone she once trusted. Now, she just wants answers, even though she knows she won't get them. Spoilers up to 1x21.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. or any of the characters herein. I'm just a fan that likes to play in the world.

**A/N:** This is a one-shot set during episode 1x21, after Skye snaps at Fitz and 'Pablo Jimenez' orders everyone pizza. I'm a huge fan of canon, so I just try and sneak little scenes in the overall story that I think build on the character/s and their relationships. Because let's face it; the writers do a good job.

* * *

Skye doesn't really know what to do at this point, so she sits on her bed in the dingy motel room, staring at her laptop.

She knows she shouldn't have snapped at Fitz earlier. It was just proving to be too much. It's one thing to have lost Ward to HYDRA, it's another to have Fitz try and give desperate arguments to the contrary; trying to prove to the team that there has to be more to it than Ward just turning on the team, even though the evidence kept piling up in front of their faces.

"_Well, I don't believe people are born evil."_

Skye sighs and leans against the headboard, mindlessly tapping random keys on her computer. To Skye, Fitz is so pure of heart that he'll always believe that Ward isn't truly evil. That there's no way he can hurt the team.

That is, until he gets orders to.

"_I should've let Mike finish him when I had the chance. I was stupid and weak."_

"_You weren't weak. You had compassion. That's harder."_

Coulson's words came echoing through Skye's head. She knows he's right; compassion is what makes you human. If you have no compassion, you are a monster.

Or a Nazi.

Groaning, Skye shoves her laptop farther down the bed so she can lie down and maybe get some rest. Her fingers accidentally hit a few keystrokes and suddenly Grant Ward is staring at her through the screen.

For one wild second she thinks it's the real Ward contacting her through her laptop, and a surprised yelp catches in her throat, her hands grabbing both sides of the screen, about ready to slam it shut. It isn't until her heartbeat slows slightly that she realizes it isn't Ward making contact, but the photo she took of him at the diner to send to the authorities. To Skye, those five cups of coffee felt like ages ago.

"_If you had one more moment, before you shot him in the back of the head so heroically… If he was sitting right here and you could say anything you want, what would you say?"_

"_Skye –"_

"_Would you say he's disgusting? Would you tell him he's a disgusting, backstabbing traitor? Or to rot in hell?"_

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Just trying to have an honest conversation, for once."_

Skye knows she should just shut the laptop down. Instead she slowly slides it closer so it's touching her legs that are curled under her body, her eyes staring intently at the photo. It's certainly not the most flattering picture of Ward; his lips are slightly parted, like he was in the middle of saying something to her, his eyes looking just above the camera, most likely into her own behind the screen. His cuts and lacerations are bright and harsh in the natural light coming from the window to his right, making him look a bit pale.

No, definitely not the most flattering photo. The real thing is much better.

Then why couldn't she stop staring at it?

Skye sighs loudly through her nose and glances at the door, making sure no one was about to enter. When she's satisfied that there is no one on the other side, she straightens up, her back straight, and adjusts the laptop so it's perfectly positioned in front of her, Ward's face still taking up the screen.

After a few slow breaths, she finally speaks.

"I wish you told me why you really betrayed us."

She quickly glances at the door one more time before continuing.

"All this crap about how you 'had a mission' and it was your 'job' is not good enough. I don't care how many jobs and missions you had, that doesn't make up for the fact that you _betrayed_ us."

Another slow breath. Another loud exhale through her nose.

"Fitz still believes you're one of us, that you're our_ friend_. I had to flat-out tell him that you are a murderer, that you are evil and always have been evil, long before we were _friends_. Long before you were my SO, long before we –"

Skye stops abruptly, a lump catching in her throat. She swallows thickly and continues on. It may not be the real Ward, but it was mildly cathartic. She was able to say some things to him on the Bus, but she wonders how much of that went in one ear and out the other.

"_Stop. Wait. I'm not a Nazi."_

"_Yes, you are. That is _exactly _what you are! It's in the SHIELD Handbook, Chapter One. The Red Skull, _founder of HYDRA_, was a big, fat, freakin' Nazi!"_

"_That has nothing to do with today."_

"_You know, you always had that Hitler Youth look to you, so it's really not that surprising."_

Looking back on the events on the Bus, she can't help but think how… robotic he was. His stance, his words. They were perfectly constructed, like if his cover was ever blown, he would know exactly what to say.

At least until he professed his feelings…

"_You know how I feel about you, Skye."_

"_Wait. So even though you've been lying to everyone, about everything, you're saying your feelings for me –"_

"_They're real, Skye. They always have been."_

She remembers the look in his eyes when he said those words. She remembers how soft they were, how _true_ they were. She remembers his touch, his fingers softly brushing against her skin as he tried to tell her how he felt with a look. She remembers how, even through everything, she ached, almost _yearned_ for his touch. How if it were any other moment in time, any other life, she would have wanted him to kiss her, to sear her lips with the love that had shown through his eyes, through his touch.

She also remembers that after feeling all of that, she wanted to puke on his shoes.

Shaking her head harshly, Skye changes position on the bed so her legs are no longer under her body, but stretching out, the laptop now on her thighs. Not caring that someone could overhear her, she raises her voice slightly.

"You said you had a mission, but was part of that mission making sure everyone on the team gave a damn about you? Why even bother? Why jump out of the plane to save Simmons? Why take care of Fitz when you two were stranded in Ossetia? Why sleep with May? Why save _me?_ Oh, right, that was part of the _mission._ Make sure Skye gets shot so you'll be led right to the miracle drug that you secretly wanted this whole time. Scratch that, that _Garrett_ wanted, because it's painfully obvious that you don't want a damn thing. What do you want, Ward?"

Skye shoves the computer off her lap, collecting herself and rolling off the bed to stand at the foot of the bed. She turns the laptop so Ward's face is still not-quite looking her in the eye. For some reason this makes her angrier; as if he knew he was getting his picture taken and he just chose not to look at the camera. While a voice in the back of her head tells her this isn't very practical, she doesn't give a damn because Ward doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

"What do you want, Ward? To just follow orders blindly? Because you can do that with SHIELD. To have someone to follow around like a lost puppy? Again, doable with SHIELD. To screw with people's heads and hearts and emotions? Bang up job, Ward. Really, top notch. And the freakin' Oscar goes to…"

Her arms end up in the air in frustration during this tirade, so Skye lowers them to her sides. They're resting there for only a second before she lunges for the laptop. She grabs the computer roughly, one hand supporting the base, the other holding the screen steady. She feels tears leaking from the corners of her eyes, but she doesn't try and wipe them away.

"I know I said that I would never understand, but please. _Please_ help me understand." She sniffs loudly, the tears now falling and disappearing in her long brown hair. "Help me understand why you would do this to us. To _me."_

She sits down on the bed, still holding the laptop close to her face. "I'm going to show you a moment of weakness and beg you to not make Fitz a liar. He's one of the smartest people I know, and I trust him. If he says you're not evil, please show me something that proves him right. I told him it was stupid to think that you were anything _but_ evil, _but_ a murderer. I told him that –" Skye's voice catches and against her will, a sob escapes.

"I told them I should've let you die. Should I have? Let you die? You betrayed us, you killed people, and you aligned yourself with HYDRA. Yet, when I stood there, watching you die, the only thing I could think of was how I couldn't picture a world without you in it. How even though you're a damn serial killer, a stupid backstabber, a world without you would be a little bit worse." She lets out a hollow laugh, finally brushing some of the tears off her face.

"How much of a sucker am I? You got me to fall and I did. Fell hard, hit every damn painful stair on the way down, too."

Feeling spent, Skye places the laptop on the bed and turns away for a moment. She focuses on the clock on the nightstand, the lamp, the TV across the room, the curtains blocking out the day that should be so beautiful to everyone else, but not her.

She twists her body so she's fully back on the bed. This time she brings her knees to her chest and wraps her arms around them, keeping them steady, even though her hands were shaking a little bit. She stares hard at the photo on the screen, as if being able to study Ward's face on a laptop would help make sense of all of this. As if there would be something in his eyes that screams "I'm not really HYDRA."

Skye smiles sadly at this. Wouldn't that be something?

She rests her chin on her crossed arms and whispers, "If only Garrett never sank his claws into you…. Where would you be now?" She tilts her face and rubs it across her arms a few times, making sure there are no more tears left.

She will make sure she doesn't shed another tear for Grant Ward.


End file.
